Stressed Single-Mom Syndrome–a mutated post

Mom Stress Syndrome..though the amount and type of symptoms and signs vary and grow and change constantly, these are a few

-You live in a constant state of ADHD (attention deficit housework disorder). It’s always started but never fully completed.

-You may look down at your watch 3 times and still not know the time.

-You make as many outfit changes as a star at the Oscars

-Drinking a cup of hot liquid without once heating it up calls for Chariots of Fire music

-You understand your parents a little more (gasp!)

-The times that you do your hair, put on makeup, and wear a cute outfit, you will see no one of importance. The day you’re covered in puke and your hair is a mess and you look like a zombie, the guy you like will drop by your house with a friend..and you think, “really?!”

-Watching childhood movies with your kid induces a realization of how little you knew or noticed about it when you were younger.

-A day out of the house makes you feel like you’re a super hero

-You forget to believe happy ever after happens in more than just movies and books

 -You realize you’ve had your Dvd’s from Redbox for a week..and still havent watched them because every night was either bath night or you fell asleep right after dinner (or maybe you were blogging)

 -It’s NEVER too late in the day for coffee or chocolate

 -You find yourself humming, “When you sing your scales and your arpeggios”..in the shower

-An empty house is painful when you’re used to chaos so you start asking the dogs what’s on the television or if the mail came yet. Desperate meaningless conversations become the norm.

-You learn to do almost everything one-handed: cleaning, eating, feeding dogs, doing laundry, washing dishes,or even using the restroom

 -You turn the TV on when no one’s home just for noise because silence is just plain weird.

 -It feels weird to NOT have your kid with you, but you somehow wish it didn’t sometimes (usually about the third diaper change you wake up to)

 -You are perpetually 10 minutes late to all your appointments (even if you try to leave extra early) & if you’re on time, you consider it getting there early.

 -You worry all the time about where diapers, wipes, and socks are..so much so that you forget where you put them once you found them.

 -You carry at least five separate lists at all times: groceries (or errands), chores, daily functions (have to remember to brush my teeth!), extra curricular (anything else), and mental lists.

-Bowel movements are exciting (yay poop!)…and the big ones cause mental panic and freezing as you try to determine the best avenue of attack

-Where, before, you got excited about clothing or art designs and were an expert on what the new song of the week was, now you get excited about the design on diapers, sleeping schedules and an expert on stains

 -You make food choices at times, that you never would have accepted before, for the sake of convenience and time restraints and you consider anything not cooked in a toaster oven or coming (in any part) out of a box to be gourmet food.

-You find more strength than you had for even yourself before, everyday..but often are frustrated for no reason 

-You accidentally call people on the phone, at the store, or even animals: sweetie, pumpkin, baby, monkey, bobo, duder or twinkletoes. Yes, it can happen.

-You cry during shows where babies are born or even during commercials

 -“What’s his name?” induces a Pavlovian response where you spell out his ENTIRE name

 -You count your blessings before you count your money

 -You don’t mind the hallucinations caused by lack of sleep because after all it’s free entertainment!

 -You no longer care in the same way about the size of your stomach, cause after all, after it’s been that stretched anything else looks good.

 -Buying an item not on sale induces rapid breathing and panic as you categorize and mentally survey bank accounts, coupons, diapers, and meal plans.

-It’s only been six months, but it feels like an eternitiy..and since your mind was lost in the laundry two weeks ago, when people ask “how old is he?” you have a moment of Jeopardy-like distress (which induces looks of worry from onlookers of whether there should be an amber alert)

 -When having previously mentioned “talks” with the dogs, you refer to the baby as their “brother”..this induces phrases like, “don’t squish your brother” or “dont lick your brother so much” or “your brother’s socks are not a snack”

-Over use of caffeine, under use of adult beverages

 -Eye brow maintenance is the first thing to go…and when you do it, it’s one-handed and leaning over using the reflection in the television.

 -You stress over posting a list like this for fear you’re the only freak in town.

-You find more love than you knew you were capable of

The Help…time to start a blog

So, I was thinking back to what spurred me to write about anything. Even if it’s only my little, mildly boring life that I try to make sound epic.

I suppose less to do does give me quite a bit of time to contemplate the meaning of the world and all its intricacies. That’s a plus.

Nevertheless, I used to be a HUGE writer. I was determined to write a novel. A fantasy novel. I wanted to be critically acclaimed. I worked and reworked my writing. 20 was my magic number to get published and–Hello, 21. Oops. Funny, how when we’re not looking life changes the cards on us.

 Anyway, I watched The Help for the second time. Swiftly this reminded me why I decided such an idea as a blog, no matter how bad an idea that was for an easily distracted, procastinatory girl prone to writer’s block and moody decision-making.

Yay me.

But, in The Help, I found myself spurned by one of my many daily “brilliant” ideas, no matter how unbrilliant they may sometimes become. But, I tell myself it’s therapy. So, that makes it more okay.

In The Help, a girl finds herself wanting to write and thrown into a situation that gives her the perfect opportuity to write and make a difference. I felt inspired. Time to write!..but about what. Writing about myself seems strange and cliche, but hey, you should write what you know, right?

So, what did I learn from The Help?

1. Write. Write write write, until you find that one seed that becomes a tree.

2. Have courage. Surly, after a day in the harrowing world of Skeeter and friends, my world seems shallow in comparisine. Especially when my most important daily accomplishment is a walk to the store, dinner and 4 loads of laundry. But, I suppose everyone finds their courage in different situations.

3. Our relationships with others are our most important and worthwhile accomplishment. We should grow, love, and read people based off thier merrits and not on their physical characteristics. We shoud strive to find those like us, to appreciate those people in our lives that make us laugh, or sing, or cry on their shoulders. We should find beautiful people, on the inside. You should work on creating those bonds, and making them stronger with every day that passes and every trial we encounter.

4. If a man can’t appreciate you for who you are and what you do, he doesnt’ deserve you. He should be able to laugh at your quirky-ness, be proud of your bravery, and think you are the best thing since the invention of indoor plumping or using peanut butter to catch mice. And that if he doesn’t, you’re better off moving to New York where you’ll get punched in the face for saying “hello” to people on the street, cause it’d hurt less. It’s better than being treated like an agreement, a business deal, or a child. Have a great job, live in a great place, be a great you..he’ll think he’s awesome without you for about 5 minutes after you leave, then he’ll wish he was a real man.

5. Be witty! Have a sense of humor in life. And sometimes, just do soemthing without thinking. Not whether it’s nice or polite, just put a little smile on and do it.

6. And finally, when the Enemy looks you in the face and makes a wicked comment or tries to bring you down..you should put on your headphones and yell..”EAT IT!”

So, why should you start a blog? To write. To be heard and hear yourself and others more clearly. To meet yourself on the outskirts of your mind, and sit down for a spell to get to know you a bit better. It should be to touch others and find peace. To give someone comraderie. To express yourself and follow your dreams, sharing them with the world. To work with what you love and tell others with child-like enthusiasm.

So get out there…and write!