Given Dreams

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Given Dreams

Preparing everyday for you to go

Hopes taking shape of a lie

While I fall deeper into your ocean

With the passing of suns

 

Summer drew up like water into a sponge

Fall settling like dust again. While the

Whisper of your name withered upon

My crimson lips, my teeth biting down on its form

 

In my mind, you must see me, miss me

In my mind, I was a golden treasure you hoarded

I was a blaze you need to warm your bones

Let the forest burn, your decision worthy

 

But instead, I felt forgotten. Like the fog

Lost and thick among the branches of ghosts

Eerie and quiet and strange with music

Messages too old for you to understand

 

And yet, I sent my dreams to you, oh fox

Wanderer of histories, rogue of tomorrow

The dreams I kept in a box in my cage heart

The skin of my soul

 

I gave to you my red cloak, a desert wide

A sail boat washed ashore long ago

The fierce deafening wind, and my strange eyes

My perseverance.

 

I gave to you my golden wolf eyes,

My clever mouth and sharp ears

The stillness of the forest, the bugle of the hunt

My wildness

 

I gave to you my long dark hair, waves upon my back

My white dress among the mazes of trunks,

Just out of your reach, out of sight. A house in the wood

My innocence

 

But I woke to find my bed cold and large

When suddenly you were a stranger that held all

My secrets. And having given you my dreams

I sat empty and alone, wishing for tomorrow.

 

What more is there for my arms now, but time

Once filled with your smile and broad back

Now just the ticking of a clock too loud

Every moment turned from waiting for you, to hiding.

 

I’m supposed to ignore the ache of agony in my chest

I’m supposed to let go, since I knew it would come

Since I am a girl practiced at being grown up. No longer

Peter Pan, just wishing for the hook to slip between ribs.

 

And so the day goes on, it does not miss you as I

It knows nothing of the emptiness

What shall I fill with it? The quiet seconds of pretend?

What will fit in that space of sorrow for lost things?

 

You were never mine, so what rite do I have?

But losing you broke my heart, while I held

My breath, because the dead do not cry.

And I was just a hollow shell, full of the brine.

 

The absence of you became the pull before

The tidal wave, that crashed down on my heart.

But the pain was dull, for I had known that you

Were nothing but a distraction for my wandering eye.

 

I’ll get over you, perhaps tomorrow. But until then

I am stuck here in this longing. A longing so deep

For something I don’t understand. Why the wind

Keeps blowing people away but not me

 

 

 

What of tomorrow? What of today?

When my emotions are things I wished away?

And the terrible truth of my existence

Was something I created with persistence?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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