THIS WEEK IN BREAKING NEWS
RACHEL’S CONFIDENCE WAS ARRESTED SOMETIME LATE IN THE NIGHT FRIDAY, AFTER A BATTLE WITH OLD DEAMONS AND A SPECIFICALLY HIDEOUS STATEMENT THAT LEAD TO A GUN-FIGHT. OTHER SUSPECTS, INCLUDING LOVE AND STUPIDITY, ARE STILL BEING HELD.
Rachel’s lawyers say it was an old statement that sparked the dispute, creating a heinous scene of frozen limbs and insecurity. The plight started the previous night when Rachel was speaking to a friend. It was said that she suddenly was reminded of something the previously mentioned “him” had said formerly, causing her to fall silent. After many attempts to revive her from the stupor with her name, she returned but was unable to continue the conversation. She was excused from the conversation with a “Gotta go, my parakeet has bowling lessons”, and hanging up. Afterward, she sat silently in a dark room and cried. But, in hating herself immediately for another win to the insecurity gang, she hastily swiped the tears away as if to say “no I wasn’t”. She thought it amazing at this time that one person’s words could render you broken, comparing them to drops in an endless sea of awareness and speech. Though she did not want to reveal the person sending the decidedly mindless and arrogant statement, she did give us a brief synopsis.
“[He said], ‘The reason you suffered was because you are crazy, and no one else would take you. No else wants you. You are so low.’ And on top of it, his statement was dangerously close to combusting as it sat in proximity to ‘If you would have just taken it slow I might have graced you with my presence a while longer, but I’m still going to ‘eff’ you cause I can.’ I didn’t know what to do, I was stunned”
After a brief pause, the woman continued, eyes sparkling with an unnamed strength.
“I like to think I deserve to be happy. Crazy thought right? Some don’t seem to agree with me. Imagine that. I’m smart, funny, talented in some things. I’m fun and loyal. I have an okay smile and I can do the “smolder” like no one I know. I like animals and kids in general. I’m hard-working. I can do elementary math. So, what did I do to deserve that? Ask for more? That was my crime? Not settling for less? Okay. Fine”.
At this time, confidence got wind of the statement and hastily advanced on the subject, thinking about it all night and into the next morning, at which time he was arrested for conspiracy, distribution, and murder of pride, dignity, and trust. It is not yet clear how confidence received the ammunition in order to complete his task, but numerous anonymous tips have pointed to “him”, lord of all things arrogant. With her confidence in full custody and awaiting trial, Rachel expressed concern for her safety and health, but did not find it prudent that such feelings existed. Love and Stupidity were also arrested for questioning as to their whereabouts during confidence’s arrest and the events leading up to the crime.
“We will be fine.” Was Rachel’s only comment on the case which is quickly spreading through word of mouth.
After her statement was taken, Rachel was hastily rushed to the back of a car and driven home, where she promptly curled up into a ball. She reiterated her previous claim that she did not how it came to be that her confidence was arrested, but posted bail. There will be a hearing on the 24th in order to determine guilt, but the trial may be postponed a month in order for the authorities to gather more evidence.
I’m still almost-slightly-not-exactly struggling with thoughts of the “him” I was speaking of earlier. Lucky me. Special me. Stupid me.
In case you couldn’t tell.